{"product_id":"if-i-could-go-faster-i-would-bumper-sticker","title":"If I Could Go Faster, I Would - Bumper Sticker","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eListen, if I could go faster, I fucking would. 🚗💨\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor those of us whose cars are doing their absolute best just to make it from point A to point B.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeaturing bold distressed lettering, a bright red warning-sign background, and just the right amount of automotive frustration, this funny bumper sticker lets everyone behind you know you're not driving slow by choice.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for beaters, older cars, struggling engines, and anyone whose check engine light has become a permanent dashboard decoration.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBold, sarcastic design\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGreat for cars, trucks, and other smooth surfaces\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWeather-resistant for outdoor use\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect gift for anyone driving a car held together by hopes and prayers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFree U.S. shipping!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cady Creations","offers":[{"title":"Premium Vinyl Bumper Sticker","offer_id":67649075249212,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Premium Bumper Magnet","offer_id":67649075314748,"sku":null,"price":9.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0649\/0098\/8988\/files\/Screenshot_2026-10-11_173018.png?v=1791754238","url":"https:\/\/cadycreations.com\/products\/if-i-could-go-faster-i-would-bumper-sticker","provider":"Cady Creations","version":"1.0","type":"link"}